Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
