She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize