that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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