windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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