i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
