dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
