Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
ok first of all what the fuck
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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