i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize