absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
