I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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