okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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