i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
