The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
