when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
