make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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