It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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