Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
