Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
