I swear she didn't look like that last week.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
