My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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