Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
