I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
