Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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