You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
