the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize