You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
where am i from again
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
