real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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