I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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