talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So. Much. Porn.
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