take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
