Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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