it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
