I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize