so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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