fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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