just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
