White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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