Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
