just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize