now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
