Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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