So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
