This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
