forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
