I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize