i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
