it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize