Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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