can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
