girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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