i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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