The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize