I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
