i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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