Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
