Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
