Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
