What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
