oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
