so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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