Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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