Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
