Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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