$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
